How Do You Manage?

Recently, when I was about to resume my practice as a lawyer, six months after giving birth to my younger one, The whole phenomenon of interrogation that I was put through when putting my 18 mo old firstborn to daycare, repeated. Questions started flooding in from all nooks and corners of our circle i.e. our family and friends; like "How're you going to manage? who's going to look after the kids?" etc. It felt almost like my right to be an individual had ceased after assuming motherhood or if I look from their perspective, they seemed fearful as if I was going to 'ask them' to baby-sit, while I'm away.

This often happens when people cross my path at work or while travelling or anywhere I'm seen alone/independent, usually, I'm faced with all sorts of questions about the arrangements I've made for my kids, when away, almost doubting my mothering capabilities and my love for my babies. And it doesn't stop here. 

It goes further when I respond to their queries by telling them that the babies are safe and secure at home, well taken care of, by their Father. The eyes that were only looking in apprehension at the mother, Me, now look absolutely startled and seemingly now look down upon me for not only being a less responsible/irresponsible mother but also for being a mean wife. Somewhat succeeding in making the free spirited woman in me, guilty. Nevertheless, I look back confidently into those eyes and respond, "Don't doubt his capability. Trust me, My loving Husband is as amazing a dad as he is a business man." I walk away, wishing I could ask "How do you Manage, to look so worried, when you have no business to?"

As I walk past these pseudo egalitarians along my path, I wonder, why does no one, including the husband and the folks, question when a modern self-sufficient woman decides to become a mother, fully conscious of the frills attached to the role. Why is she not questioned when she goes against the stride and chooses to devote herself to the beautiful journey. Why does no one question the man How does he manage work and family together. 

Question the mentality and the attitude towards women, if at all you wish to question. When you do that, your queries will automatically become more full of compassion. It's high time that we accredited fathers with more value than just being the breadwinners for their kids and looked at young mothers with a more individualistic approach.

Lastly, From all my fellow young mothers- "We're all doing a wonderful Job In our own special way. Only We know how we manage and We manage very Well. thanks"