Who, Why, When, What, Where, How?-- Thankyou

Gratitude towards those who challenge my instinct driven radical life decisions, has always remained at the core of response, be it about love, marriage, children and now my unschooling them or be it about my beliefs at large. It is in their questions that I often get better clarity even for my own self. Interestingly, never once, have I been compelled to revisit and revise my decisions. As I had once deduced out of the allegations of "assuming myself to be always right"- Its not that I'm never wrong, its only that I mostly act from the core, hence sure.

My gratitude is at its peak as I begin this series " 4Ws1H- Thankyou" where I shall account my virtues to the curious questions of my loved ones, that lead me to be better being, thoroughly. 

HOME IS US

"How have the kids taken on to the change of city?" enquired someone really close, genuinely concerned. Having relocated to a quieter city recently followed by our decade long residence at a leading metropolitan, such questions are a matter of routine for my husband and I as we have been asked often about how have we taken on to the slower life and how has the new life taken on to us. "Normal, towards positive" responded I, further remarking as the realisation embarked upon me "never once, have my kids asked us to to go back home from wherever we have visited, for them "the home" is Us, parents. Yes indeed, their home is us and ours, them." As I went on further, this beautiful fact blossomed within me, that I have never experienced anxiety at my children's end to return home from wherever we might be visiting, as long as we- their mother and father, are with them. 

The first house my children (let me say their ethereal self) would have known is our thoughts. Ever since we had met and felt for each other, we imagined procreating together and just the thought was beautiful. Interestingly, when we were going through my old slam book, incidentally exactly 10 years after we first met, we were awestruck as my husband had replied to "Where do you see yourself 10 years later" by saying "happily settled with Churli and Ninnu Baby (as we had fondly, funnily enough named our to be kids)". This reaffirmed my belief that even a thought of having a child must be carved with utmost care and nurtured with pure love for that is where, this being first resides. It is from this beautiful home of thoughts that we relocate and bring the child into the mother's womb and the father's nurturing actions. The mother's womb is only one facet of the home, it is in wilful care and nourishment of mother and desired nurturing actions of the father that the home of the child to be is complete. Unfortunately, The ever increasing rate of infertility and miscarriages in our busier than ever society is a living evidence. Further, the growing rate of suicides among younger members of the society confirms that we have betrayed them, by rendering them homeless, Within.

Home is what makes your residence worthwhile as it completes your being. Home is Precisely that feeling, for which so many established people with the best amenities and lavish houses, still lurch for, elsewhere. Here, I can recall those few exact instances when my children have expressed they wish to go home, "to their papa" whenever, they have travelled with me alone. Though, the analogy may sound patriarchal, but this is the best I may think of- if the mother is the ground, father is the roof. Hence, I am convinced that when a child gets anxious and restless and cries to go home, it is the parents that need serious attention and correction. It only takes a little awareness of genetics to make it clear that it is merely about replicating your DNA which is beyond your control, and more significantly a clear conscience to realise that steering your energies is definitely a deliberate choice and determines much more than what meets the eye. Water crystallises distinctly when posed to just the literal words- Love and Hate. My children, thanks to my partner and the conscience, are "children of love", since their first home. Our togetherness as it turns out is the true shelter of the beautiful consciousness that we today call family. What also attributes to this blissful state is our focussed and unrepentant attention to what we had so passionately desired- our little blessed selves, them- our kids.  Solely, because we know "Why" had we brought them about we have our hands desirably and happily full with their little but critical chores, not only because it is our duty but more importantly that is our "Karma". Our children don't consciously know why they are here, but we do. Therefore, it always amazes me how people leave behind their blessed little selves, so conveniently in the hands where they don't belong- be it of helpers, relatives, caretakers etc.

Its High time, that our society shifted its enquiry from "When" to "Why" are you going to have children? For that would allow the to be parents, to introspect and reflect upon, the very crucial "Why" barring which it is impossible to do justice to your kids and to the world.