What Goes Around Comes Around

I owe all my wisdom as a parent to my children for it is in that gaze of those little twinkling eyes, penetrating straight into my motherly heart that I find the amount and intensity of faith they regard their mother with. 

Ganesha, pronto did a Parikrama, circumscribing his parents Shiva and Parvati, and won over his courageous brother Kartikeya in a challenge thrown by Naarad Muni who had dared them to go around the Earth. Ganesha was aptly declared the winner, for it is in its parents that a child first sees the world. Whenever they're posed with a new situation, children always turn back to their parents and look straight into their eyes for the response. It is our response to any circumstance that results into their conditioning, hence we, The Parents are The Mirror that shows the world to our kids. As much as we reflect the world for them in ourselves, they emulate it back to us. For that reason, our kids become Our Mirror, that echoes back to us our own self. 

A child brings along a promise to rest in you its absolute faith and that to always be a keen learner of all that you have to give. We exploit that "Faith" and go on to condition our kids to suit our own conveniences and comforts right from the beginning however trying to make a difference in our own way, rewarding them suitably here and there. But, if at any given instance "They Fail Us or The Conditioning" shattering down our expectations, we lose it. At the very instance when the child Acts up, refuses to listen, becomes adamant/violent for no reason (as per our understanding), our first instinct is to smash their Confidence with our authority.

The Authority, we forget, was in the first place vested in us by them, our Kids; and we misuse this precious gift from them in the most subtle and sophisticated manner. When the child acts adamant, refuses to listen, acts up, gets violent; despite a polite correction, we the parents feel challenged and at loss of authority (brought into existence by our kids). We smash their confidence in its face with our command. If further faced with rebellion, our ego surfaces as anger, forgetting that we're dealing with our own tender self. We go on to suppress their natural instincts till the time our ego is satisfied, without even paying heed to what it is that the child actually needed. We move on to deal with our "Preoccupation" believing that the child has now learnt a lesson.

We're too preoccupied to see that the child doesn't "Want" but "Needs" something. After all We have the Best Providers and stuff lined up for her- The Best Preschool, The best Nanny, The Best Activities, The Best Toys and the list may go on forever. However, we forget that none of these was ever demanded by the child. The child, in the first place cried for the mother's lap (That's where home is for her, not in our lavish apartment), but she had to leave the little one behind in the nanny's lap with that expensive soother to attend to her own obligations. That's exactly where the journey of imposing your conveniences on the little soul had begun.

Imposing your opinion is the most approachable and accessible tool to aid parenting. At most times we feed them with our own prejudices, thoughts, conditions when the actual need of the hour is to just let them be. We desire them to follow routines, form habits and have certain norms because, let's face it, it suits us as adults. So, Our anger, at most instances is not about them its about Us and its fatal to their nascent thoughts and it pushes us into a vicious cycle to hammer them till the child ceases to be able to think.

Oh I'm sorry if my words hit you hard and for those who act otherwise, I congratulate you, for you're the rays of hope. 

Nevertheless, we'd agree that at most times the most a child needs is a caress and a patient ear. They fully deserve not to be labelled as the "Attention Seekers" rather be given the "Attention" they rightfully deserve as it is them that have vested in you the authority. The authority to be their mirror. They only live up to their promise of being keen learners when they act/react abruptly for the source is you.

"What Goes Around, Comes Around"

Lastly, the child never troubles, it is the child that is in trouble is what we need to realise and remind ourselves, time and again so that we may never fail their Faith in The World that they see in Us.